come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
