yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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