Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
