i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
