i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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