I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
