why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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