All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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