You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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