No, drunk sperm still make babies.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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