you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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