Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you didnt know i had herpes?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
