When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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