Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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