Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
