Midget sex pt 2 tonight
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
