Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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