I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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