Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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