the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
tonight lets celebrate not being married
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
