yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
organizing the empties. That sober.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
