I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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