oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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