yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
