Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
