I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
its liver damage thursday
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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