Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
