If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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