Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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