I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
