I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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