I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
