Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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