I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
