I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
