i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
