hotel room ftw
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more