My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.