lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.