1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay