those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious