I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism