PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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