Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
