I got chris browned last night
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
