Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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