dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
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He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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