oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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