2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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