I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My dick has a subreddit
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
