amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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