In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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