It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
