we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
