You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba