If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.