The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.