im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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