Kiss
Puke
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
