dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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