Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
