Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
