R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
