He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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