Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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