shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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