Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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